Jay Shetty in his book 8 Rules of Love has mentioned about three main fight languages which are Venters, Hiders and Exploders. As each term implies, Venters are the people who let out the facts and every detail and argue until finding a solution to resolve it; Exploders are the ones to build up all the emotions until they can’t hold any more and burst it out; Hiders tend to walk away from the issues till processing the emotions only to return late to resolve.
Whenever there is categorisation, I believe that each category is only to name the major feature and doesn’t mean there can’t be other qualities.
There’s always a middle ground or a mixed category.
I am of that kind, I realised when reading the post by Write_rspace.
I am not a venter always. I am neither an exploder nor a hider. I have seen myself exhibiting all three under different circumstances. Depending on the matter of issue, I have vented out and stayed up all night fighting saying that I wanted to resolve. I have sometimes tolerated or bore certain issues silently only to explode at a peak point. These days I have become more of a hider.
Hiders usually withdraw to cave themselves because of emotions. But I am a hider only because I choose to withdraw from what I feel unwanted or as a waste of my energy. Also I felt most things were given unnecessary attention. I felt I could rather save or invest those time and energy in cherishing the positive notes. Having realised that, I became more of a hider but parts of me in certain concerns are still either in venter or exploder mode.
– Written in response to Write_rspace.
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